One of the best ways to defuse rude and negative behavior is to stay friendly and positive. This gives the other person a chance to calm down and adjust their behavior to match yours. Kindness can be a wonderful antidote to rudeness. Showing kindness to someone who is being surly or insulting to others can be extremely difficult. But by setting a calm and well-mannered example, you can prompt them to follow your lead. Instead, you maintained your cool. A rude and difficult person can create tension and anxiety in themselves and everyone around them. Humor can create a diversion and break the tension, allowing everyone to laugh it off.
You can do this by finding a way to laugh about a common situation or by joking about a shared experience you can all relate to. Self-deprecating humor can also be disarming. Finding a way to insert a little levity when someone is feeling out of sorts may be just the thing to help everyone hit the reset button and begin again on a better note.
Another tactic to stop the spiral of rudeness is to simply call them out on their behavior and ask them to stop. If someone you can't get away from is consistently rude to you, you need to address the issue directly. There is no need for you to take ongoing abuse from anyone. You should never allow anyone to treat you in a disrespectful way.
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Have a conversation about what is going on. Does the person realize how hurtful his or her actions are to you? By making the person aware, it gives him or her a chance to apologize and try to be more polite. When someone annoys you, your first instinct may be to lash back. But remember, you always and only have control over yourself. Choose not to give in to drama. No matter how another person acts, you own your behavior, just as they will have to own theirs. Keep your cool.
Take a deep breath and give yourself space to calm down if someone has upset you. Maintain your dignity and rise above the fray. Showing empathy requires you to try and understand why the person is being rude. Perhaps that person is dealing with a difficult situation in their personal life, or is feeling overwhelmed by deadlines that are piling up at work. If you can find a way to show that you understand and care about them and what they are going through, they will feel more connected and less alone in their struggles. If you know someone is having a difficult time, let them know that you understand.
You might find a way to mention that you've had rough days too, and you can relate to how the person is feeling. If someone is having a momentary lapse in manners, this may help the person become aware of their negative behavior. If the person gets angrier, let it go. There's nothing you can do to force someone to behave. People have all kinds of ulterior motives for acting as they do.
Recognize that some people use rude behavior as a way of showing dominance or displaying power. They may be trying to provoke a reaction and make you look bad. By being a good role model and treating everyone with fairness, kindness and empathy, you are displaying the kind of behavior you expect from those around you. When all else fails, keep in mind that sometimes it's best to just walk away.
If you have done all you can to make the person aware of his or her actions and you have tried to show kindness and empathy, it may be that this person is just incapable of treating you and others with politeness and good manners.
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By avoiding habitually rude people, you take away their audience and give them fewer targets to lash out at. A lack of an audience will also defuse the situation. If everyone around them begins giving them a wide berth, perhaps it will be a wake-up call. And if not, it will at least help everyone else have a better day. Entrepreneur Media, Inc. In order to understand how people use our site generally, and to create more valuable experiences for you, we may collect data about your use of this site both directly and through our partners.
Quit trying to beat them at their own game. Maintaining an emotional distance requires awareness.
This is the area where most people tend to sell themselves short. They feel like because they work or live with someone, they have no way to control the chaos. If you let things happen naturally, you are bound to find yourself constantly embroiled in difficult conversations. The only trick is to stick to your guns and keep boundaries in place when the person tries to encroach upon them, which they will. When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from the opinions of other people, you are no longer the master of your own happiness.
That way, no matter what toxic people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within. Where you focus your attention determines your emotional state.
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When you focus on actions to better yourself and your circumstances, you create a sense of personal efficacy that produces positive emotions and reduces stress. When it comes to toxic people, fixating on how crazy and difficult they are gives them power over you. Quit thinking about how troubling your difficult person is, and focus instead on how you're going to go about handling them. This makes you more effective by putting you in control, and it will reduce the amount of stress you experience when interacting with them.
Sometimes you absorb the negativity of other people. Negative self-talk is unrealistic, unnecessary, and self-defeating. It sends you into a downward emotional spiral that is difficult to pull out of. You should avoid negative self-talk at all costs. Drinking caffeine triggers the release of adrenaline. The fight-or-flight mechanism sidesteps rational thinking in favor of a faster response. Sleep deprivation raises stress hormone levels on its own, even without a stressor present. To deal with toxic people, you need to recognize the weaknesses in your approach to them. This means tapping into your support system to gain perspective on a challenging person.
Identify these individuals in your life and make an effort to seek their insight and assistance when you need it. Something as simple as explaining the situation can lead to a new perspective. Most of the time, you will find yourself tested by touchy interactions with problem people. Thankfully, the plasticity of the brain allows it to mold and change as you practice new behaviors, even when you fail.
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