However, I have discovered certain ways to help myself move forward. I just want to thank you so much for the advice. I have come to terms with it and want so badly to change. For an example- today my wonderful two year old son learned how to open the fridge. Now as his mother I should have praised him for learning something new, but instead I was so upset because I knew what was to come. Within one hour he ate a package of string cheese, yogart, two bananas, my chocolate stash, and three pieces of bologna.
Mind you to make matters worse my husband laughed and helped him open everything. I was furious! Every two minutes I was yelling at him to close the fridge. So I very much needed to read your page. Thank you again! I will definitely try this tomorrow! My baby is worth it! Thanks Alissa, I love the idea of the heart. Thanks for sharing and being so real. I was a yelling parent when my children were little. I would like to share what I learned. Dear Alissa, thank you so much for this lovely insight into your handling the family.
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I badly needed to read that a it happens to the best moms from time to time and they do feel like i do — all shitty about yelling to the best kid one could ever have b there is a way out. My daughter is only 2. My kids and I do a heart with our hands when needed.
2. Choose Wisely
Have to admit that we do them quite oft! Either we do them when we catch ourselves with being less than nice, or we do them when the other one is doing something that upsets one of us.
Thank you for sharing this. It helps just to hear that I am not the only one, so thank you for your honesty! I have two young toddler boys 3 years old and 20 months my three year old is extremely hyper, stubborn and testy right now, so any moms with suggestions of getting through to that age would be great. Hannah, I feel for you at this difficult time. When a child is extremely hyper, it can be because they are sensitive to certain foods. You will have to balance the stress of trying to find out what that is with the stress of her being hyper.
My youngest daughter is affected by sugar — any sugar, even a little bit as an ingredient. Very hyper. Eliminating this makes a big difference and they are so much easier to handle. Just a thought.
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I hope it helps. Oh, and I find that keeping off sugar myself helps me stay calmer. Wow, thank you I would have never thought of that on my own. I had no idea diet had such an impact, I was just trying different ways to calm him. I will definitely experiment with his diet. Hi Patricia. Just reading some comments on here.
How could i tell whats making my kid Hyper is it an Allery test i get done to see if its gluten? There is a test to find out if your child has Celiac disease.
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I suggest that you remove all gluten from his diet for at least two weeks and see if anything changes. Then you can introduce it back in and see what happens. Some experts say that gluten causes inflammation in the gut of everyone.
However, here is an eye-opening post on the massive difference wholesome food v processed food makes. Note the wholesome food group ate bread. He is still small to understand things and he sure knows how to push my buttons. I wish I could help him understand his feelings and talk instead of throw tantrums. Needed this article more than I can even express in words. I have so many other stresses in my life that any not so nice actions from my 3 year old or 21 month old sets me off.
2. Not all food gives you HP, and your food can spoil now
I have begun to hate myself. I want to change. I can control this. It was so reassuring to see that I am not alone. My issue is when I think my son going to hurt himself and I yell to get his attention so he will stop what else can I do without yelling? It is so awesome. It teaches you how to talk to your kids exact words, tone, etc.
Your 3 year old is developmentally incapable to sticking to the agreement you set before you enter the store. He just cannot control those big emotions. You may find when you first do this that the crying will increase in volume a little but that is a good sign. Your child is feeling heard and will calm down soon if you continue to show him that you understand how difficult it is for him not to have that item. Children just want to be heard and they want to know that they are understood. When they know that you are on their side not by giving into their demands, but by your understanding that they really want it they will accept that they cannot have it.
And their tantrums at the store will become less and less or shorter as they come to realise that you understand them. You may find this article helpful to cope with this problem. Turn it into a game. Paper and crayon work also. You just gotta get through it. I have four and they are extremely stubborn so I had to change my way of thinking. Still am. What a innovative way to deal with those yucky parts of parenting we all struggle with.
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What I love most of all about this approach is that the kids also get hearts to give. This definitely indicates to the Mummy when she has stepped over the line. This had amazing timing for me, it has been a very reflective day. Anyway, thank You so much for this real life article. I am 26 and on my second round of stay-at-home-mom of two in diapers while nursing, messy, oh so veeery messy. Dad works and I am here with a very, strong willed, mechanical and loud 2 year old boy 27 months, and a very sweet but co-dependant, screaming 7 month old girl.
So much to say and my phone is dying.
I did just want to say thank You!! Our 5 year old daughter and 20 month old son are very VERY strong willed. A book that both my mother and mother-in-law read years ago, because one of my brothers and my husband were strong willed children, was The Strong Willed Child by Dr. James Dobson. I just started reading it and have found it very helpful so far.
Many of the pages I just read are now highlighted in all kinds of different colors! I hope that it can help you as it has me. Something that helped me be calmer when my children were small was eliminating sugar from my diet — I mean any refined sugar in any food that I ate. I noticed a marked change between the times I was sugar free and the times when I had some. Sugar is a stressor and creates mood swings and can prevent us from keeping control of our temper. Charlie, sending you love today. You do not have to be perfect to be a good mom. You do not have to never yell at all.
The most powerful thing you can do is to love yourself and show yourself compassion as you keep learning. When you feel that shame welling up, maybe you can think of it as a chance to practice being kind to someone in a moment when all you want to do is a heap on anger and guilt.
So glad you stopped by.
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