The kind of man who would drop everything to come change a flat tire in the pouring rain, and then cook dinner afterwards … I hope those are the kind of men my daughters find in their lives. Cooking, vacuuming, and doing laundry are all activities that I make a point to do in my household. That means domestic duties, childcare duties, financial duties, and other duties as assigned. If I did, what message would that send to them? That the world views me as being a hero for doing my job as a father?
No woman in the history of the universe received a medal for being a mom, so why should a dad? If not, change. If so, carry on. When it comes to being a good man, dads are the first role models our children look to. Sometimes that means having a tea party with Princess Rapunzel and Princess Tiana, and sometimes it means folding laundry.
8 Qualities That Define A Great Man
Dads, whatever it means to be a good man, please continue to do it. Your kids are watching and learning from you. When men lean in for equality, they win — and so does everyone else. Children are happier, healthier, and more successful.
Marriages are stronger. Teams and companies produce better results. Visit leanintogether.
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Skip to Article. The makings of a good man are not his outer possessions, but they are within his internal character. As women, me included, it is imperative that we learn how to look in a man, rather than looking at him. And not only that, but we must learn what to look for inside of a man because his internal characteristics are what make him who he is. But I believe this is not simply a question of what we as women desire in men, but it is a question of what our morals and values are.
Do we value physical and exterior qualities more than we value internal qualities? But then again, it could also be a question of how many women were raised to view men.
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I recall a case study I conducted of one hundred women from a wide range of ages, socio-economic, religious, and educational backgrounds. God fearing. And the number one trait women desire in a mate is a sense of humor.
TM: I think that class plays a huge role. To say that that we're looking at 'the end of men' when you're talking about upper middle class white guys is insane. We're doing just fine. We have all sorts of emotional intimacy issues, but if we're talking purely about economics, you know, the world is still run by white men. But if you talk about men of color and men who are middle and lower class, she's absolutely right. I think it comes down to what it means to be a good man in America -- and a father and a provider and all that good stuff. When your legs have been completely chopped out from under you and you were working at a GM plant or in construction and you no longer have a job - and somebody tells you that you're supposed to be a nurse or a medical technician or whatever - it's very hard for men to make that adjustment , particularly later in life.
TM: Ever since I realized that I was completely off-track in my own life, I've tried to figure out what I'm passionate about.
8 Qualities That Define A Great Man
And often I've looked toward other men who I respect, even if they're entirely different from me. I listen to their stories and find out what they can teach me. We don't have enough mentoring in our culture. TM: We've been trying to create a forum where it's alright to talk about what it's like to be a soldier in Iraq, or in jail, or a foreman in a GM plant, and trying to be a good guy and a good father - and failing. What do you do when you fail?
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I don't think we have enough space in our culture for that. There's so much celebrity nonsense. All we get is the Bud Light commercial. I'm struck by the extent to which women's voices and concerns dominate the market when it comes to aging. Why do you think this is the case?
TM: I think there are two things going on. On the one hand, our culture forces the myth of youth on women, so there's an obsession among them to constantly figure out how to stay young. As far as men go, there used to be mid-life crises.
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I don't think we have mid-life crises any more. We just have crises. And men are really confused. Sure, age is part of that, but it's not a dominant thing. It used to be that you turned fifty and you'd buy a new car or get a mistress or you do whatever because you felt like shit. You'd think: My life is over and I haven't done anything that I think is really important. These things are happening for men a lot earlier. It happened to me when I was thirty-one. Men are trying to figure out a very complex set of issues: Being thought of as fathers in very different ways as our own fathers; trying to sort out how to be important without putting all our emphasis on work.
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